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Homemade Brain Candy

Say what you will about acupuncture, but it often ends up being a psychological purge as well as a pain treatment. Today, through no intention of my own, the subject of my fantasies came up: I'm not a person who hosts an entire brain channel overtly sexual fantasies. I'm really not. Obviously I enjoy that aspect of my relationship with Paul, and I think about it a lot, but not to the point where it becomes a mental Penthouse Forum letter to myself. And if there's, for example, an interlude in the Seventh Wave saga where I feel like Wedge and Simone Antilles should be making love, or Luke Skywalker and Xanadu Bloodshy need another night together, I have no trouble getting to that place.

But most of my FANTASIES, as in recurring hypothetical scenarios I use to entertain myself, aren't about sex. What they are about, since I did notice a common thread during our session, is DOMINATION.

There's the rock star fantasy (that's manifested in a number of my writing projects)...the fantasy where I emerge victorious in hand-to-hand combat against multiple opponents (ditto)...and the Houdini fantasy, where I escape all sorts of confinements and deathtraps (not yet). Maybe, as a woman, I consider sexual dominance too obvious and would rather achieve it by infiltrating one boys' club or another...I don't know. But it's always nice to talk about these things with someone who doesn't do shock.

We also discussed how space--the cosmos--represents freedom to me, whereas nothing makes me feel more threatened than going around in circles. I never liked the Tilt-a-Whirl, at all. At least a ferris wheel gives you a nice view while it spins.