If one more waste of blood from the Tea Party uses the term “Real America/ Americans” to describe small, conservative-leaning rural towns and the populace thereof, I am going to kick them through a jet engine. Forgive me for reviving a phrase that went out with whalebone corsets and the minuet, but how DARE you?
Listen up, motherfuckers: I’ve lived in Bible-Beating Backwoods North Carolina and I’ve lived in Neo-Commie Collegeville Massachusetts. One state, two state, red state, blue state. And since neither place is located in the Matrix, or Bizarro World, it’s safe to say that neither has the market cornered on American Reality. But no, you can’t accept that, because it would throw off your agenda of invalidating anyone whose mindset is inconsistent with your own.
Brace yourselves, but when I think of the States, my brain doesn’t stick on the image of a rural hick town. It’s part of the equation, but so is Times Square, the Seattle Space Needle, Fenway Park, a farm in Indiana, lava from Mauna Loa dissolving into the Pacific, St. Augustine, Joshua Tree, Mardi Gras, roadside produce stands, music festivals, universities… this is what happens when you expand the clearance area of your brain, instead of narrowing it down.
We all know your “traditional moral values” racket, how you fob it off through your patented a la’ carte approach to Christianity and the Constitution, and that nothing makes you happier than seeing a progressive outnumbered or hearing one of your kids parrot your outrageous social claims, but has it ever crossed your mind that it’s not enough to hate something or want it erased from the cultural landscape? Or are you just under the impression that covering your eyes like a kid in a scary movie and chanting “You’re not real, I don’t believe in you, you’re not real,” will make the so-called Diversity Monster go away?