I want a new drug

Pairing Wine With Crow

"So what're your plans for this apocalypse, Danielle?"
"Same thing I do every apocalypse, Dad. Make fun of the world."

For the sake of full disclosure, you'll all be pleased to know that said world did not end today because several of my friends and I busted our asses constructing a shield of sarcastic logic that would withstand and repel the arrival of any doomsday prophecy scheduled by ancient or modern man. You're welcome.
  • Current Music
    "Fader"/ The Temper Trap

Waltz of the Fartblossoms

There is not, nor ought there be, a greater fashion eyesore than a getup that combines nylon gym shorts with Uggs.

PAUL: How about the above plus leather chaps?
ME: Put it this way--I'd be learning to read in Braille right about now.

One recurring question this time of year is, "What do you get the [girl] who has everything?" Which never applied to me one way or another until I had to modify it to, "What do you ask for when you're the [girl] who has everything?"

Besides the obvious, ie. a plane ticket to Manchester, UK.

Not much else; right now I've got The Nutcracker Suite on (my holiday soundtrack of choice)--I'm determined to enjoy the season, for a change. Cynicism's been done to death. Get over yourselves and make something the fuck else fashionable.

What's this about dubstep/ electrohouse versions of the Sugarplum Fairy's Dance? And do my reasons for wanting to check them out...well, check out? More as this develops...
  • Current Music
    Spanish Dance/ Chocolate from the Nutcracker
shout above the din of our rice krispies


Biltmore House two days in a row? Honey, that's what season passes are all about. BLASTED and BELTED "Karma Chameleon" on the way home from work--the irony is, when I sing, I sound like a bigger tranny than Boy George.

My brother was complaining that one of our Hallmark ornaments--a family of foxes playing around a stump--had nothing to do with Christmas. But evidently, a Death Star and a Stardestroyer are classic holiday iconography. Forget that tired old Santa Claus; I'm gonna commission a tree topper that says, "Vader is the Reason for the Season."

Speaking of Star Wars, this morning I was thinking about how I was born the year A New Hope was released, and my fiance', chelseascum, was born in the year of The Empire Strikes Back. Coincidence? Well, duh...but one that makes me smile.

And speaking of mass media...Angus T. Jones, the kid from Two and a Half Men? Tsk-tsk-tsk. Just what we need, another Kirk Cameron on our hands. "Don't watch my show anymore, because you're filling your head with filth." Um, you're just now realising this? Though I don't consider it "filth" as in perverted and immoral--relative terms, those--but "filth" as in lowest common denominator brain sewage that has nothing to offer society but cheap laughs and a self-evident breeding ground for looney tunes. Surprise, kiddo: not everyone needs God to help them identify a POS.

Over and out.
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    "And She Was"/ Talking Heads
life's short eat dessert first

Don't be a Turkey

Take a moment during your Thanksgiving prayers to give credit where it's due: praise be to those who fund and prepare these magnificent feasts of divine proportions, and to the inventors and scientists who, in their finite but crucial wisdom, blessed humanity with stuff like electricity, cooking apparel, and flatware. And spare a thought to the vastness of the universe, because--you never know--another civilization, whether primitive or advanced beyond our wildest dreams, could be observing a tradition of its own as we speak.

Now, let's get stuffed.
  • Current Music
    Raiders of the Lost Ark
laws of physics willing


Some makeup looks I did recently. What freaks me out is that I'm smiling in half these pictures; what hath Wedge wrought around here?

ALL OCCASION LOOK I: Parisienne Passerby

ALL OCCASION LOOK II: Deconstructed London Mod

ALL OCCASION LOOK III: Queen of the Amsterdamned

"Happy Hunger Games blahblahblah ever in your favour and all that shit."
  • Current Music
    "10-9-8"/ Face to Face
wish i knew what you were looking for

Cricket Calls

TODAY'S EPIPHANY: My specific style of humour is pretty much useless. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the only one laughing.

And yeah, this has damaged my ego a little bit. There, I said it.
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give you diamonds give you pills

Word Cha-Ching

"101": my new slang term, used as an unofficial written or verbal trademark symbol for any statement that ought to be obvious.
  • Current Music
    makeup tutorials on YouTube
I want a new drug

Here We Go Again...

Is anyone else's LJ being spambotted up one side and down the other? Like, are they leaving comments on shit you wrote up to five years ago?
  • Current Music
    "Linus & Lucy"/ David Benoit
let's exchange the experience

Open Letter to the Christian Right

To Whomever it May Concern:

Maybe the USA will become a theocracy. It wouldn’t surprise me, and that’s not just my usual pessimism or disgust talking. If there’s one thing I understand, it’s the comfort of being around like-minded people (it happens with me so rarely), of being able to relate to someone. I'd be a liar to claim that I don't feel like bouncing around the room in elation every time I read something by Carl Sagan or Richard Dawkins that mirrors my view of the world. I can see how people would jump at the chance to be led by a candidate who promises they’ll govern by a faith consistent with their own, because then they know that they’ll be safe, they don’t have to abandon the mindset they understand as the spiritually correct one. Try as I might, I can’t fault that line of thinking. What I can fault is the effect that feeling of moral security would have on other people.

Let’s say it happens; let’s say that the separation of church and state falls, that “religious freedom” is redefined as a gag order against criticising anyone’s beliefs so long as they’re Christian-derived, let’s say that the whole nation is governed by Biblical principles, and all legislature is held up for clerical scrutiny before it can pass. All abortion is outlawed. Gay marriage receives a constitutional ban. Every school is required by law to lead the students in a morning prayer. We’re back on the path of righteousness, and all’s right with the nation.

Or is it?

Maybe for you, and that’s great, but…here’s where you need to step outside your comfort zone, and know that your happiness has made a lot of people miserable.

You need to know that somewhere, maybe in your very hometown, a teenage boy is about to take his own life because his guidance counselor is more aghast over his sexual orientation than his bullies’ behavior. Somewhere, maybe in your very hometown, a woman is bleeding out because she couldn’t face the thought of giving birth to her rapist’s baby…couldn’t even bring herself, in her fear and shame, to report the rape. Somewhere, maybe in your very hometown, a child who’s just lost one loving parent to cancer or a car accident stands to lose both…because she has two mommies or two daddies rather than one of each. Somewhere, maybe in your very hometown, a person of no religious affiliation is facing a fine, or imprisonment, or perhaps worse, because they had the nerve to object to letting the God of fear and hate have the floor, while the God of love is left to warm the bench. Just think about that for a moment. The gay son of the generous, neighbourly, funloving couple next door…the pregnant rape victim who was class clown your senior year and always brought the best goodies to the marching band’s bake sales…your widowed co-worker whose desktop background was their partner lifting their child to crown their Christmas tree with a star…and me.

Miserable. Ostracised. Terrified. All because it wasn’t enough to practice your faith in your church and home…you had to have it legislated as well. And life’s great for you; no one’s forcing you to stop praying, or going to church, or have an abortion, or marry someone of your own sex--not that you would’ve had to either way, but hey, nothing beats a guarantee, right?

Except now I want you to turn your thoughts to the people who are suffering because the law requires them to abide by your faith. Don’t write them off as sinners, degenerates, fetus carriers, heretics; don’t reduce them to their sexuality, their reproductive organs, or their (lack of) doctrine. Don’t bring the Bible into it, either. Just this one time, leave scripture out of it--you can beg [H]im for forgiveness later if you have to, but on this most isolated occasion, don‘t let God's Word inform your answer. Consider these people as a human being with a heart, not as a devout Christian with a divine mandate.

You‘ve got the nation you always wanted. And they’re paying the price with their security, their dreams, their dignity, their lives.

Now ask yourself: IS IT WORTH IT?

A Concerned Atheist in the Bible Belt (But You Can Call Me Danielle)
  • Current Music
    sports on TV